My Kitten: Sable

As Sable and I venture into our 4th year 'together', we find ourselves beginning to adapt to each other's needs and routines. Four years? Well, okay, we met in person back in early September, which isn't exactly four years. However, when we first met, and first committed to a relationship (even if it was just online at the time), that was almost four years ago.

Sable often claims that she isn't good enough for me. She says I am a perfect, beautiful man, who is very established and patient and proper. She doesn't feel she is worthy of me. I, in turn, often feel the same about her. She is beautiful, and smart, and makes me smile, and can hold a conversation with me, about anything, and make me laugh. She can also hold my interest, and keeps me on my toes. But she is so beautiful, and loyal that... She really could have any man. Why a fat, hairy guy like me? But... I won't let that really bother me. I know she loves me deeply, and I know she is very loyal to me. She would not of taken the leap of faith to allow me to come and get her in Missouri, if she didn't fully trust me, want me, and wasn't willing to commit to me. In turn, I took a huge leap of faith to go out and get her. Who knows how that could of effected my life? But... I didn't really care. I knew I loved her.

She often worries that she doesn't do enough for me. I tell her to smile, laugh, and make me smile and laugh, and love me, as I love her. Be loyal to me, and admire me, as I admire her. And that is all she needs to do. It isn't about money, success, or objective value. The value that love and companionship provides me is more than enough to sustain me. It is what I need... what I have been without for a large portion of my life. Someone who truly loves, needs and cares for me.

Perhaps it is fate. Perhaps it is just a chance meeting. But we do seem to have personalities which co-exist in a very positive manner. Indeed, it is hard to believe that anyone out there is 'perfect' for anyone else. On that note, maybe when we are young, and innocent, and naive, there is a 'perfect' match. Someone who would be perfect for us, before we allow ourselves to become jaded. But often, we settle on what is convenient. Someone who is there, nearby, also looking to settle... but the hearts really aren't in it. I think we also jade our own views of what 'perfect' entails. And over time we grow unrealistic expectations. Perhaps that is why I was polyamorous for so long. I was still searching for something, after I had settled. I knew I needed more support, more love, than what I had. But... Polyamory, perhaps isn't the best way to obtain that.

Speaking for myself, I can say that I have NEVER felt this way about anyone else. I would truly die for Sable. I would do anything for her. She is all I need. She is all I want. For me, she is as close to perfect as I have ever found. And I know that for her, I am also what she really needs. Polyamory is no longer on the table for me. Sable is Mine... I am hers.

Sable... I love you with all my heart.